Social Codes

You watch the same Japanese woman in two different settings on the same afternoon. In the first, she’s at her job in a department store, helping a customer locate a product. Her voice is high and…

You overhear a Japanese person on the phone. Every two or three seconds, almost without pause, they’re making sounds: un, un, hai, ee, sou desu ne, hee, naruhodo, un, hai, ee. The other person is doing…

You’ve been invited to a Japanese company’s strategy meeting. Twelve people in a room. The agenda is clear: a decision needs to be made about a new initiative. The meeting begins. Someone presents. People nod. A…

A coworker comes back from a two-day weekend trip to Kanazawa and walks into the office on Monday with a flat cardboard box. Inside: twenty-four individually wrapped sweets in the shape of small autumn leaves. He…

You’re three drinks into an izakaya dinner with Japanese coworkers. Someone asks the most senior person at the table whether they want another round. There’s a pause. The senior says sou da ne — “yeah, I…

The first thing English speakers reach for when they meet Japanese honorifics is the period table of titles: -san is Mr., -sama is more polite Mr., -chan is for kids. It is a tidy translation, and…